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We often hear statements of this kind: I love him as I would a brother“, “You are my best friend“, “I love her, but not in that way

As children, we grow up hearing such things, pick them up and file them away to be used as part of our vocabulary. What do we mean by saying such things? I sat with this thought for a while, and then it came to me: everything in our lives has two sides to it (at least … often more). Whether the use of anything will have a wholesome effect on our lives (or otherwise) depends on a great number of factors such as the situation it is said in, the tone of voice, the intention, and so on.

So it is with love. No matter what colour, flavour and smell it comes with, it quenches a thirst within us that nothing else can.

When expressions like the ones above are used to express how we truly feel, then it is an appropriate use of the expression. Sometimes though, the words and expressions we use can box us and our lives into limits that hold us back from experiencing life in its full richness. For instance, If we love someone as our best friend, does that mean they cannot also be a lover?

If we love someone as a daughter, can that person not also be our teacher, and does our relating to them as a daughter blind us to the wisdom they can offer as a teacher?

Love is like water, and the various relationships we classify it into are simply colours and fragrances. If we add saffron to water, the water looks yellow and smells of saffron. If we add mint to water, it turns green and smells of mint. But underneath it all … it is still water. When we give names to feelings and relationships, it is like adding colours, flavours and smells to water. It is quite delightful to experience various flavours, smells and colours! We ought to remember though, that water in its purest form has no colour or flavour of its own, and yet, that does not take away anything from its life-giving qualities. Even in the case of a flavoured drink, it is the water in the drink that quenches our thirst, not the flavour, colour or smell! So it is with love. No matter what colour, flavour and smell it comes with, it quenches a thirst within us that nothing else can.

Humans have the habit of classifying love and trying to box it into definitions that society finds acceptable. The interesting thing is that the boundaries of the boxes are always changing through time. Unfortunately, humans have ended up creating societies that do not nourish love, but do their utmost to kill it: in the name of religion, social norms, responsibility, and goodness knows what else. In some societies, it is still considered a taboo to marry someone out of a certain religion or caste.

How did we stray so totally off track? Just sitting in our comfortable cages talking about these things will not change anything. We need people of courage, of strength, of vitality and valour, to actively stand up for what we wish to create: a world where love is celebrated and everyone’s right to life and the right to live it the way they wish is sacrosanct.

There is hope. Things that were considered unacceptable not so long ago, such as interracial or gay relationships are now being accepted more and more. Throughout history, there have always been brave souls who dared to break all boundaries that humankind gets itself stuck into, and showed us that love … is simply love. It does not care for classifications, social acceptance, beliefs, religions … anything. People who stand up for the rights of animals and trees … they are not ‘loonies’; rather, they are the sane ones who are trying to stop the rest from completely destroying the Earth.

When such bright beings of love turn up, we should celebrate and support them and their commitment, not persecute them. In doing so, we will create a society and world that is nourishing and safe for all.

The love of a pet, a friend, a parent, a lover or anything else … these are just superficial classifications. The Spirit seeks to gift, and to receive, just one thing: love.